My sonshine...

You see that boy over there, on the verge of becoming a man?  The one with all the attitude? The one with the mouth?  Yeah, him.. that's my boy.  I say that with more love in my heart that you can probably imagine. 

My son is not perfect, but I do not want perfection from him.  He is who he is.  Attitude and all.  Will all that attitude get him in trouble?  Probably.  Will it teach him something?  I hope so. 

I remember when he was first born, I had no idea what I was supposed to do.  We were young and just doing our best.  But we made it through the first week, the first month, then OH MY, the first year.. and there was my sonshine.. my son... the light of my life.. Sweet giggles and curls in his hair.. Chubby cheeks and a little bit of no-good glow in his eyes.

He grew up, and his life didn't go as I had planned.  He suffered heartache, confusion, all those things I had prayed he would avoid.  But he has managed to go on, despite those things.  Even now, facing more uncertainty in his life.. He remains the same.  Pushing forward, taking the blows. 

I have times I don't agree with him, his actions, his responses, but what mother doesn't?  But I am eternally proud of my son, proud of what he is trying to accomplish.  Proud of the man he is becoming.

But deep down, he will always be my sonshine... :)

My Friend, My Sister, and the Hoot Owl that Sees All....

My best friend happens to be my sister.  I'm totally ok with that.  She is my rock, my biggest supporter, my secret keeper, my everything.  We have a bond that many would envy.  One look can say it all, one word can start the laughter.  She is my protector, and I am hers.  I support her even if I don't agree with her decisions, and she does the same for me.  Later, we will tell each other "I told you so" and no anger will be had.

We have had our hard times, but we have had far more good times.  When I have a bad day, get nervous, sad, depressed, confused, or overwhelmed, I know five minutes on the phone with her will put me in my place.  I try to do the same for her.  I don't think I'm as good at it as she is, but I will always try.

She gave me an owl decal for my car, someone to always "see where I have been" as she says.  And not only does Mr. Owl see all from my back window, but he is close to my heart.  I see that Owl as my sister, the one who always has my back.

So today, my blessing is my big sis, who is always there for me, loves me unconditionally, and who may, in my golden years, be the crazy lady on the hill with me..

Monday Monday...

No witty stories here today.  Just some brutal honest truth about what I think, how I feel.. Whatever...

Today, I am thankful for my family, no matter how dysfunctional we may be.  In the closest part of my family, there were five kids, and my mom.  I love my sisters to death, even if they won't speak to each other.. And my brothers?  Well, one passed away many many years ago, but not a day goes by that I don't think of him and the things he taught me while he was here.  Compassion, patience, an attempt at style fashion and hair techniques, lol.  My other brother? He is a nut, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Do I wish we were all closer? Yes, absolutely. But the reality of that is thin.  I have come to accept each sibling in their own way.  The sister closest to me in age is my best friend. Always has been and always will be.  We have been through hell and back and had our ups and downs, but I would do anything for her, as she would me.

And then, my mom.  Where to begin? Hmm.  I'm not even sure.  She is just about the best mom I could imagine, although she has her moments, but don't we all.  There are not enough hours in the day for me to start talking about the incredible crap she has put up with and how she provided for us all growing up.  But she is awesome, no doubt about it.  I will be forever lost when I am no longer able to call her every single day.

So, remember, no matter the differences, the problems, the fights, whatever may be in the way, they are your family and were the first people to LOVE you.  Be thankful for those that you have, for one day they will be gone.  Make all the memories you can; good, bad and ugly.  They will hold you over until you see them once again.

Peace, Love, Happiness and all that other happy stuff..

J

I did it all for the cookie.

Here it is!! My first post!! Woo-hoo!! LOL.

I have a son, an 18 year old with attitude.  He is my life.  I would do just about anything for him.  Sometimes too much.  And now, since he is 18, I am trying to teach myself how to establish boundaries and use some "tough love" to help him into his jump into man/adulthood.. I don't know if any of it will work. 

This week has been rough.  I got some rather unexpected, potentially life-changing news from the son-front.  As a mom, I overreacted and tried to figure out how I could fix it all.  Which, of course, I cannot.  Cue the cookies.

In my fragile state of mind, I needed cookies.  Chocolate cookies.  I lusted after the thought of those cookies to the point of obsessive compulsiveness.  But alas, no cookie making material was in my house, let alone chocolate cookie making material.  So, looking a hot mess and feeling even worse, I loaded myself into the car and went to the store, something like a woman possessed.  Baking aisle, here I come.  By this point in time, I had decided that cake mix cookies were indeed what I was in need of.  How could that be wrong?  Chocolate, cake, cookie, powdered sugar.. Oh MY!!  It was a heavenly and amazingly peaceful thought.
Lo and behold, cake mix on sale!! (YES!! Backup cookies!!) 

In a dash, I was heading back home.  Make the cookies. Eat the cookies.. Sit, think, eat some more cookies.  It was exactly what this mother needed. 

I have decided, cookies and milk make all the difference on a bad day.  They are almost as good as a mom's kiss to a boo-boo. 

It only took a few days to finish them off.. well, I could have finished them that day, but I was trying to also teach myself some restraint!! (It only half-worked).

So, you may ask, what in the world does any of this messed up madness have to do with being grateful for something?? Well, here it is..

I am grateful this week for cookies.  For chocolate.  For my ability to whip up some chocolate cookies in an incredibly fast fashion.   And also, for that back-up box of cake-mix.  Because I'm not completely through this week, and some more cookies might be needed!